Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
