it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
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Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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