Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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