we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
