I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
