I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
