he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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