Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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