Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
North Korea, Best Korea!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
