gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i would punch a child for taco bell
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
