break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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