Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
