batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
