I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
