Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Pants are for mortals
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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