btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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