scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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