Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
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You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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