Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
