one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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