Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize