It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize