i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
