no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
either way he was missing a nipple.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
