And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
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I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
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How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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