shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
