she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
