Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
