Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
