Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just sent this text using only my big toe
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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