I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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