put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize