I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize