I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize