Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
