Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
