you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
