1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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