eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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