He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
