We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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