arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
