Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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