She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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