Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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