So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
