Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
