hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
