Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so explain again why im purple
no
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize