1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize