I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
