Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
