i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize