Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
