we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
pray to the hookup gods
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
