Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
