You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
