One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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